Daniel's Window

            As a resident of the Bronx and a worker in Manhattan, I am fully vested in the city’s traffic, public works, services, goods and environment.  If I were asked to come up with a name for the time period covering the last few years , I would likely choose something like “The Wasted Years” or perhaps, “The Foolish Years.”  Everywhere I look, I see bad idea after bad idea pushed upon the tax paying, law-abiding citizens of this great city by a tiny group of power brokers who are way out of touch with the rest of us. 

            Let’s start with the subways.  Here we have one of the worlds largest public transportation systems in one of the world’s greatest cities and it’s literally falling apart!  Our city thrives in great part because of the quick and easy access to mass transportation provided by our subways.  Without the subway system, many people would be unable to get into work on time or at all and businesses would suffer.  This would result in lowered productivity, job loss, business failure and massive loss of tax revenue.  As I wait for my train in the morning with a pocket full of 50 cent metro cards, I count the rats and wonder at the decay evident everywhere from the ceiling to the walls.  Hell, I’ve seen war zones that looked better than some of the subway platforms in the city today.

            As I drive down the Deegan  Expressway, I am amazed at the speed that the new Yankee Stadium has been constructed.  I flashback to my fist viewing of the Coliseum in Rome and imagine future archaeologists trying to determine why we erected this huge structure right next to another one.  It’s really incredible how people can get together and build a gigantic luxury baseball stadium (subsidized by taxpayers) but I can’t wait for a subway in a clean platform that  actually looks like somebody gives a damn.  It’s hard to believe I am actually living in the 21rst century on some days!

            To add insult to injury, several projects around my neighborhood have closed off pedestrian crosswalks to facilitate some brain trust’s idea of smoother traffic flow.  Where I used to have a crosswalk that took me directly to the subway entrance to go downtown, I now have to cross three separate crosswalks (legally) to get to the same train entrance.  What about going green, saving energy, reducing our carbon footprint?  Odd, but I could swear that many of these street adjustments are actually encouraging people to drive more and walk less.  Hypocrisy, rear thy shameless head, but watch out for the fossil fuel-burning “street cleaners!”

            Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of positive things in the city as well.  The school system has greatly improved with more and better choices and schools, helped in no small way by the “No Child Left Behind Act.” Many neighborhoods around the city have vastly improved with private houses now neatly lining previously dilapidated areas like the land surrounding St. Mary’s Park.  The Park system has done an excellent job of improving, maintaining and expanding parks everywhere from Central park to Pelham Bay.  Child services have improved and we still have the best bagels and pizza in the world! 

            All in all, I still love this city, but there are times when things start to ruin it for me.  The subway system is one of the biggest problems and the MTA has really let us all down over the last few years especially.  If they want to give me a discount, give me a freakin’ free ride.  In the meantime, let me know if you want to buy any 50 cent metro cards.  Like the MTA once did, I have a surplus!  Maybe if I save enough of them, I’ll be able to afford half of a hot dog and sip of beer in the new Yankee stadium.  Woohoo!

    Wow! Here it is, July 8, 2008, the summer is in full force and the year is halfway gone. It’s been a very busy year and I haven’t had much time to blog lately, but I have noticed a long-term trend in blogging that has fascinated me for the last few years.

    What is it about blogging that seems to make people think that they can say anything they like with no shame? I’ve noticed people lashing out in anger, delivering personal attack after personal attack and generally speaking in a manner that is considered unacceptable in all other social situations. I see this in blogs all over the internet, including the myfox blogs.

    There are a lot of theories to explain this trend. Some say that it’s the anonymity of the internet that allows people to lash out and that certainly makes sense in a lot of situations. Some folks seem to think that it’s okay to insult and degrade others as long as nobody knows them and nobody can easily track them down. It’s never really okay to be vicious, mean and insulting, but many people feel differently. Of course, some of these folks have come to regret their behavior as they have found that they can, indeed, be tracked down by law enforcement when needed.

    Some people think that it’s the public figure aspect of blogging that makes people abandon acceptable behavior. In the early days of personal computers we had local Bulletin Board Systems that a relatively small number of people would use to discuss various topics and exchange opinions. Since there were not that many people who could read one person’s comments, things generally did not get too crazy. Skip ahead to today and one blogger can be read by hundreds or thousands of people daily and you have a nice anger stew. One comment today can start a war of words on what is now called the “blogosphere.”

    Another theory is that there are those people who may have been frequently ignored or belittled growing up. As they grew older, they looked for areas that they might have better control over and might garner more respect and attention from. As they discovered the internet and blogging they seized the opportunity to make a name for themselves and take no prisoners. Again, these are all just theories that try and explain the negativity and the attacks that are so prevalent on the internet today. Every individual is important and has value. Everybody has their own story and that’s part of what makes blogging so much fun.

    None of us are perfect and we can all be guilty of the occasional misspeak, but we should always be aware that words really can hurt people in ways that are not always easily definable. For the same reason a well written song is powerful, or a simple “Thank you,” or “I love you.” can change a person’s life, an attack aimed squarely at a person’s individuality or belief can have a huge negative impact. Many of us are pretty tough (or at least we think we are) because we’ve been burned before and we’ve heard most of the BS before, but some people are a little more tender. Sadly, some people have even killed themselves because of words somebody else used against them. It is true that actions speak louder than words, but when we blog, our actions are our words. Be well and have a great summer!

            Has anybody else ever wondered why banks and stores can’t purchase and deploy better security cameras?  It seems that every time a crime is committed at such an establishment we get a grainy, low resolution photo of the suspected criminal.  I am always bemused when such pictures are shown on the news in the hope that somebody will recognize the suspect and turn him or her in.  How hard can it be to get a higher resolution camera in place with a good auto-focus mechanism?  It just seems weird that these businesses wouldn’t want to have the best pictures available in order to track down these criminals.

            A lot of people get upset when they discuss cameras in public places, but not me.  How much of my privacy is at risk to these expensive, out-of-focus, low resolution monitoring systems?  Not much, unless these systems get a lot better in quality and get set up correctly.  I can imagine the conversations of some of these security personnel.  “Yes sir!  After going through all of the available images we have our man.  He’s a man and he has hair…and he’s wearing clothes…shouldn’t be hard to track down!” 

             I ran a test in my house with a jury-rigged motion detector, a compact digital camera and a computer.  With the camera and the motion detector connected to the computer and almost invisible on my bookshelf, I set my cheap “security system” to snap three photos every time somebody came through my front door.  Much to my surprise, I got a perfect, in-focus photo almost every time.  I thought that this was too easy, so I rearranged the camera several times at odd positions, but I got clear pictures every time.  I guess I just got lucky!

These creatures were once called "Horsefoot Crabs" because they looked like a horse hoof. The Horseshoe Crab isn't really a crab. It is related to scorpions, ticks and land spiders.

Horseshoe crabs have not changed very much in the last 250 million years. They have survived because of their hard, curved shells that protect their soft underbellies. The horseshoe crab has also persisted because it can go without eating for a year and survive changing temperatures and high salt content in the water.

Each spring during the high tides of the new and full moons, thousands of American horseshoe crabs descend on the shores of the Atlantic from Maine to the Yucatan.

Males, two-thirds the size of their mates, gather on the shoreline as the females arrive. The male holds on to the female's shell and is dragged up the beach to the high tide line. The male has glove-like claws on its first pair of legs that allow him to hold on.

The female stops intermittently to dig a hole and drop as many as 20,000 green eggs inside of it. The male then fertilizes the eggs as he is pulled over the hole. After this mating process is complete, the crabs leave and the waves wash sand over the nest.

Some Facts:

• Despite their size and intimidating appearance, horseshoe crabs are not dangerous.
• A horseshoe crab's tail, while menacing, is not a weapon. Instead, the tail is used to plow the crab through the sand and muck, to act as a rudder, and to right the crab when it accidentally tips over.
• The horseshoe crab's central mouth is surrounded by its legs and while harmless, it is advisable to handle a horseshoe crab with care since you could pinch your fingers between the two parts of its shell while holding it.
• Horseshoe crabs have 2 compound eyes on the top of their shells with a range of about 3 feet. The eyes are used for locating mates.
• Horseshoe crabs can swim upside down in the open ocean using their dozen legs (most with claws) and a flap hiding nearly 200 flattened gills to propel themselves.
• Horseshoe crabs feed mostly at night and burrow for worms and mollusks. They will, however, feed at any time.
• Horseshoe crabs grow by molting and emerge 25 percent larger with each molt. After 16 molts (usually between 9 and 12 years) they will be fully grown adults.
• Horseshoe crab eggs are important food for migratory shore birds that pass over the Atlantic shoreline during the spring mating season. Fish also eat the juveniles or recent molts.
• In the 1900s, horseshoe crabs were dried for use as fertilizer and poultry food supplements before the advent of artificial fertilizers.

Spring is almost here with its warm breezes, multi-colored blossoms and beautiful smells. If you close your eyes, you can almost hear the land awakening. It is a season of hope, of promise and one of joy. I know that when my personal time nears midnight, it will be all of my springs that I remember the most. Here is my nod, my thank you and my embrace for Spring, 2008. I hope that you can all take time to enjoy it. Peace



A Painting

If you look closely, you may see me there;
the sculpted waters in the southeast part
reflecting winter sun that strips me bare
and echoes with each Wordsworth that I start.
Dark persistent pigeons are astounding
huddled under parapets of cold stone.
Squirrels play in spite of icy pounding
upon the trails where they are often known
to tourists clicking photos with abandon
and children pointing, laughing with delight;
lovers pulled by horses roped in tandem
speak softly as they spin into the night.
Above my path a sparrow starts to sing
and burdens me with longing for the spring.

You ask for wisdom, I deny the page
upon which you would have me demonstrate
the warmth that is antithesis of rage,
and secrets that lie cold upon my plate.
Desire is not what love has promised us,
no simple education of the living.
Hard rain rolls down my back and shades my lust,
cool respite that counters what you’re giving!
There’s no question of our hearts intention,
the light of what we know and who we are;
pity is the cousin of invention
and sorrow but the shadow of a scar.
My passion is all yours for the taking;
my silence, the sound of one heart breaking.

The present was forgotten as we spoke
about our lives and what we’d done with time;
incredibly the years that silence broke
coincided like rhythm in this rhyme.
Each struggle matched by struggle of a kind
blended with our misery of each turn;
compelled by reasons of a common mind.
We both knew, but somehow did not discern
the bond that separation cannot sever,
the chasm that no substitute can fill,
tenderness that kindness cannot ever
restore in us the things that such love will.
Beware of moments past that will not fade;
sun’s light does not wither because of shade.

Winter is the sweetest of the seasons
despite that some may shiver with the ice
and linger in the longing for reasons
that might explain the need for sacrifice.
Each morning brings us promises of spring
without accommodation for despair,
I picture secret moments as I sing
of summer wind that’s captured in your hair.
Fading shimmer is autumn’s gifted tone
as harmony restores me in its wake,
the beauty lost, I now must mourn alone
with shining remnants left for you to take.
Winter dances in cold symmetry
with all that is within you that’s in me.

Good day, everybody!  I had a wonderful Thanksgiving week off for total of nine days including the two weekends.  I got a lot of things done, spent a rare night hanging out with my two younger brothers and stuffed myself at my sister's house on Thanksgiving day!  2007 has been a long year, sometimes difficult, but I am thankful for each day.   I hope all of you had a great week and you're looking forward to December 2007 and January 2008 as much as I am.  No matter what, don't forget to smile!  Here are a few more scribbles from my notebooks.

Daniel

Harvest Prayer

I struggle,
but not against death;
I will sing,
accepting
what comes
because I am through
with fear
and the sad rhythm
of loss.

 
I embrace life,
rejoice in it
even as I squander
the majesty
of its breadth.
I hear children laugh
as the hint of winter
kisses my door;
my cup waits.

 
Drink me
or pour me out
in a rush of
thirsty rejection.
I am hardened
in a timeless
way that cannot speak;
It is what you cannot hear
that screams at me.

 
Hold me here
in this moment
of peace
before I travel
from this place
you know.
Remember, it is
not what I give,
but what I take away.

Shelter In Time

 
I would swing from the slender limbs
Of old man Willow,
Helicopter blossoms would glide
Gently to the ground,

 
Aerodynamic, filled with spring
Spinning in my head,
In tune with time and its passing.
I learned to read there.

 
Sometimes, during a raging storm,
I would run out and
Dive under the weeping branches
Of dubious shade

 
Redolent with damp earth, clover
And dandelions,
Replete with eternity and youth;
Protected from rain.

 
My mother would yell from the house,
Warning of lightning,
Colds, falling trees and fresh cookies
Inside.  I'd relent.

 
I would stare out of the window,
(The sound of raindrops
Mixed with chocolate chips and milk)
Watching the Willow

 
Wave frantically in the wind,
Calling me again,
Beckoning the wild inside me
To seek its shadow.

 
When it rains, I see the Willow
In my mind, calling
I long for its shade and shelter,
Its place in a storm.

 
I miss my friend, the Willow tree
In my old backyard,
Right next to the Crab Apple trees
And the Rhubarb patch.

Awakening

Beware these three:  paucity, love and truth!

Basic Complexity

Precede me in my ignorance, find me
Regretful in the cool green shade;
Evoke me as you touch me spiritually.
Color me with paint that needs no brush
Even when the canvas is saturated,
Drenched in sunlight, yet cold,
Enlaced with pictures uncreated;
Numinous in stories, still untold.
Titillating in memory, this prelude
Sings of subsequent acts predicted,
Relinquished with a grudging attitude.
Unliberated, although unrestricted,
Lugubrious, yet joyful in the knowing;
Eros wind we've ridden is still blowing.

I have been concerned lately with general news coverage in both printed media and on television. It often appears as if news producers and editors believe that most viewers and readers would rather be entertained than informed. This is a trend that has been increasing in popularity with each passing day. Admittedly, I do like to be entertained as well, but not at the expense of getting the “real” news. There are many such examples that I could point to, from murder and rape, to war and peace, many of which have been discussed in various posts right here on the myfox blogs. The one that has really intrigued me of late, however, is the water shortage in Atlanta. I’m wondering why I have to search to find up-to-date information on this potentially deadly crisis. This would seem to have all the trappings of a monster story. We have a population of 3 million on the brink of disaster with less than a ninety day supply of drinking water, governors of neighboring states at each other’s throats, poor civic planning by politicians and government officials, and a drought in the southeast that is described as epic! Governor Purdue is even threatening to sue the Army Corps of engineers! Why is the news media providing us with only minimal coverage on this huge story?

Hello! It has been a very busy few weeks for me with work and family and my blogging family as well. There have been some great discussions here on the blogs, ranging from mothers to friends to freedom of speech. I have enjoyed them all and I know each discussion has added something that I will take forward on my journey. This blog has really come a long way and I am happy to be a part of the action. I thank everybody for taking the time to post such interesting blogs, both staff members and viewers. As I look forward to another beautiful winter season with friends and family, I also look forward to another year here on the blog. I know it will be a year full of ideas, debates, virtual hugs and a little learning every day. I’m going to stay in a light mood today (for me) with a few whimsical entries from one of my notebooks. Be well everybody!

A Days Journey

I left her in a pub in Cork
Because my charm just wouldn't work.
The day was grand, but not my talk
I left her there to take a walk.

I walked until the end of day
And found a castle on my way.
"It's Blarney!" said a passing drunk,
Up to the parapet I slunk.

Up there before my eyes I saw
The famous stone within the wall
A weathered space between two bars
That kisses had so sweetly marred.

The moment seized, my head reclined
I kissed the rock that challenged time
And as my lips caressed the stone
I was no longer there alone

For in that instant, I was lost
Inside a world that time had tossed
I brushed a million lips and then
I thrust into our world again.

The sun was low, I walked in haste
I knew this time I should not waste;
Returned to Cork beneath the moon
I reached the pub I'd left at noon

And lo, there sat my bonnie lass
Gently draining her wine glass.
I begged a pint, for her more wine
From Grace, the rosy barmaid fine.

I sat beside her with a smile
And talked a lovely wicked while.
She laughed at all my tales and touched
Her hand to mine, perhaps too much.

I reveled in her beaming face
I finally had my wits in place.
My journey had been worth the trip
For now, instead of stone, her lips.

Lesson

Walking alone, I used to think I was powerful
in the leafy-green, red-orange hue of ancient mountainsides;
learning to step without snapping a twig,
silently exploring the ridges and the sturdy pines.

It was often May before the snow would leave,
in vapor-lust, the tangled baby trees and tombstone trunks.
Sitting on the bald head of Shatterack, I studied Townsend far below
and wondered at the order of the green and brown and blue.

I shot down the slope at sunset, running, jumping, falling, rolling and slipping
across the little river and the muddy, mossy ground.
I raced the darkness to my house and banged through the door,
laughing, in breathless relief; I had finally understood the spring!

Good Day fellow bloggers.  It has been another week of crowded trains, problems and solutions, but this Wednesday brings a smile to my face and propels me to another Friday.  I've been a little moody lately, but I have great expectations for the years ahead and I wish nothing but the best for all of you.  Here are a couple of poems for the week from one of my notebooks.

A Better Place

 
There you are,
Through the little window on the door;
I can see you,
I can see your body move quicker
Than my mind can accept.
You're like lightning
Flashing and banging,
Burning and brilliantly
Gone, too quickly to follow
With my tired eyes.
I watch the door
As my memory fades
And your heat remains
Bundled up in the air
With the smell of
Your favorite shampoo
And salt water.
I feel just like a tourist
In Paris,
Wonder at every turn
Of my head
And every blinding
Reflection of the sun.
You're cross-legged
On the floor of your apartment,
Drinking a toast with me
As I sit on the floor
Looking into your
Big, unavoidable eyes.
I see you there
Through the little window on the door
Digging for your keys
Or some change,
I don't know.
You're radiant in blue,
Your father's favorite music
Tumbling from your stereo,
Bouncing off of my nose
Into your smile.
You're so far away
And then you're right there
On the other side
Of a small rectangle of glass;
I see you,
And think about your coffee table.

The Perfect Storm

 
My words break in a myriad of ways,
Swirling in a stormy sea of anger,
But, in a moment's pain, I drag the days,
Kicking and howling, from dark to danger;
The sun, restless, rising and receding,
Blue skies turned to black, thunder in a bang,
Phrases turned upon themselves, revenant
Thoughts, reversed and bleeding!
The clouds themselves roll over in refrain,
In chorus with the distant horizon.

 
Come watch the sky with me, and you will see
That stars come down to earth, dance with seagulls
And rip the comfort from the agony
Of losing something irreplaceable.
Lightning cracks the misery of desire,
All bright, suffused with simple suffering
Beyond the need that brings you to this place;
You the song, we the choir!
Sing, sing!  For I shall hear your sweet voice ring
Within the forgotten of your calling.

 
Do not forsake what cannot be reclaimed:
The harvest, the broken earth, the beauty
That's real, despite its lie by which I'm maimed.
Witness my shadow; in the storm I'm free,
Wild, returned to form, inexplicable,
Undeniable, resplendent in gray,
Irreverent, implacably moody,
And you, irascible!
Spin me like a hurricane, shake me up,
Leave; I'll remember your version of truth.